Broken

Despair coincides with loneliness,

a heart-dissolving despair at

feeling the inability to

alleviate this state alone,

a solitary unit cannot be multiplied

to produce advancement,

addition is required

and the magnificent depth

breadth

height

girth

and fixity

combining to formulate loneliness’s despair

wallop attempts to lessen

the panic,

growing desperation

thorny withering

and growing coldness

because warmth is comfort

and loneliness confesses no

comfort to the sufferer.

I grip the windowsill

with clammy hands

to will away the void

with leafy sunshine and grass

in need of mowing

but all I see is something

better than myself,

an unattainable plumpness

my raggedness lets

churn in my stomach

until I have to sit down

lest my legs betray sturdiness.

My chest cavity is an empty vault

waiting for deposits,

echoes sounding off thin

walls whose half-life shifts

with prospects of interaction

whose chances shrink

as moments pass

because every building moment

is a bulwark to overcome,

an accumulating mountain atop which I see nothing

from my great distance

and so doubt the venture,

hesitate to try,

see no compensation in the struggle.

Despair invites himself to tea

as loneliness burps edgy clouds

above our party.

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Broken

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